A Game of Shadows
Script by Louanne Honey
The changes I have made in this second draft are:
- The use of language, giving Gary and Chief S more Scottish accents e.g. Ye = You.
- Less information on Gary and Chief S's occupation within the first scene.
- Gave Chief S a bit more emphasis on his sleazy lines.
e.g. I changed one of Chief S's lines when describing Lana from 'Quite Spicy' to 'Got one heck of a Bahooky'. This emphasises Chief S's lack of respect for women and also updates his Scottish speech (bahooky = backside/bum).
The changes I have made in this second draft are:
- The use of language, giving Gary and Chief S more Scottish accents e.g. Ye = You.
- Less information on Gary and Chief S's occupation within the first scene.
- Gave Chief S a bit more emphasis on his sleazy lines.
e.g. I changed one of Chief S's lines when describing Lana from 'Quite Spicy' to 'Got one heck of a Bahooky'. This emphasises Chief S's lack of respect for women and also updates his Scottish speech (bahooky = backside/bum).
Relabel as 11.4
ReplyDeleteExplain changes.